Grateful

I've been feeling especially grateful this week. It's the holiday season and grief has left me feeling raw. Money is tight this year thanks to unexpected travel, broken vehicles, appliances, and a 40 year old house that is in much need of new windows. But still, I am feeling grateful.

I am healthy. My husband is healthy and so is my child. Money may be tight, but it's there. We are employed and paying our bills. We're refinancing the mortgage and saving $150 a month, which just covers the increase in our health care for 2011. Oh yes, the health insurance. We are so fortunate to have such wonderful care and even tho it does cost more this year than last, the premiums are minor compared to the alternative.

This month I have seen friends lose their jobs and their homes. There have been multiple hospitalizations, including a darling little five year old who very well may be spending this Christmas in ICU. A friend is struggling with providing even a single Christmas present for his children, who have had one sad and lonely year to start with. Heartbreaking stories.

Losing my mother has been very difficult. I feel the pain every day and pray that one day I will feel normal again. But, that pain seems natural and manageable in comparison to what others are dealing with.

Tomorrow I'll be taking Cha to see Santa. We'll probably spend $15 for a single picture but she'll get to see the big guy she's been talking about for months. This weekend Santa (paycheck in hand) starts her shopping for one sweet, funny, happy, healthy and loving five year old. They'll be less presents under the tree this year and nothing super extravagant, but I know we're still one of the fortunate ones.

Here are two pictures from my mother and brother's service last month. It was beautiful beyond words.