i don't know how she does it

Last night some friends and I went to see I Don't Know How She Does It, which is the new movie by Sarah Jessica Parker.

Tagline: A working mother strives to balance her demanding career with the stress of raising two young children and maintaining a healthy marriage

The movie irked me. It did a disservice to working moms everywhere. So cliched and simplistic. I hope the real world doesn't think that's what it's really like for 'us'. Two separate times I was ready to walk out.

My advice to the main character Kate, who finds herself way too frazzled over self created drama:

Get yourself a full time live-in nanny. The movie family suffered many times due to a nanny who was habitually late and had to leave at 5:00 pm. That's totally unrealistic. As a former nanny, I know. I understand finding a caretaker who holds a special place in the children's lives, but she's there to do a job for the family and if she can't be there when the family needs her, she's got to go.

Buying bakery made desserts is not the end of the world. Staying up late and stressing yourself out by trying to make a store-bought pie look homemade is just stupid. Seriously. Especially for a school bake sale, which is voluntary. Order from a local bakery who delivers or better yet ask the full time, live in nanny if she could take on the task.

If you are lucky enough to have a high powered career that you love, rejoice. Do not buy into the guilt about 'not being there for your kids'. If you're successful in talking a billion dollar company into investing in your mutual fund proposal, you're smart enough to know that your children have a tremendous advantage over millions of other children in this world.

It is very possible, without much effort really, to have a friendly and platonic working relationship with an attractive co-worker without either of you signing your emails with 'XO'.

In the business world, brushing your hair is pretty much expected.

Cha has not once ever said she wished that I stayed home. She knows a world where both of her parents have jobs during the day and the family is home together at night. It's natural and Matt and I have never apologized to her for it. She is aware that some of her friends have a parent who stays at home but we have never told her that one is better than the other. Just like some are happy in the city and others in the country, people are different. If you continually apologize to your kid for having to work and not be home, they're going to use that against you.

If a child is having a near mental breakdown over her mother not being there to build a snowman with her, there are much bigger issues than the mother having, wanting or needing to work. The child needs to know that sometimes mom and dad have to say no, but that doesn't mean the child is any less a priority.

One thing I will agree with are the sleepless nights due to the lists that never seem to shorten. I can keep myself up all night thinking about the 500 things that need to get done asap. My current stresser is that my list is scattered among four different notebooks. One of my top five to-do items is consolidating the list so nothing (further) falls through the cracks.

It will get done because eventually everything does.