gottahava wawa (and a good cry)

I work from home on Fridays. I usually start the day by dropping off Cha at school (or the bus) and running to Wawa for coffee. Wawa is our local convenience store, similar to 7-11, Circle-K or am-pm and in my not so humble opinion, they have the best coffee on the planet. They are a mini town center, where you can meet and greet your neighbors and get caught up in what's going on in the 'hood. They are also just about the only place where I feel comfortable wearing PJs in public.

The store was especially crowded this morning, tho I couldn't tell you why. Three registers were open with the same three cashiers I see every week. The lotto machine was down and customers were joking with employees about how it got broken. I got third in line behind a guy who also had a cup of coffee in hand. A buddy of his tapped him on the shoulder and asked if he could cover a 24 oz cup. He said go ahead and the buddy went to the back of the store to get his coffee.

One of the assistant managers announced to us that another line was open with no waiting, but I didn't want to move, and neither did the guy ahead of me. When he got to the front of the line the cashier said hello and asked if he wanted cigarettes, his regular order. He said yes and thank you and then the cashier said she hadn't seen him in a while and asked where he'd been. He said his father just died, pancreatic cancer, he fought for 18 months. The guy was out for three weeks helping with the arrangements and spending time with his mom.

When his transaction was finished his buddy called out from behind me about his coffee. The guy said he forgot and asked the cashier to ring him up. She did and he turned to me and apologized. Behind my tears I told him no problem and that I was sorry about his dad and that I had just lost my mother too. He said thanks.

Nearly a year and a half later and the pain of losing my mother still feels 'just'. When the guy left the cashier said 'You may think you may be, but you're never ready to lose a parent.' All I could say is 'Cancer sucks'.

I'll be enjoying my coffee over a good cry.

Miss you mom.