getting there

This has been my 2012.

I am really looking forward to 2013.  I'm excited to start a fresh new year.

Happy Birthday George!

We made several visits to Valley Forge National Park this weekend to celebrate President's Day. They hosted a birthday party for George Washington complete with artillery demonstration (those canons are LOUD), reenactors, crafts for the kids, lots of music and cake for the big guy himself.

The weather was perfect and we had a fabulous time. I love being surrounded by so much history.

Sharing

In December 2007 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was open with the details and shared them with anyone who was interested. In turn I heard from many friends, family and near strangers who had similar experiences. I learned much from those who shared their stories. It made a difficult time easier..

In pretty much all of 2008 (and beyond) I battled with anxiety and depression. I did not hide the fact but was too paralyzed with fear to speak much about it. I could not bring myself to share many of the details. I posted a link recently that sums it up perfectly tho I did not have the words to describe it when it was happening. However, what little I did share was met by a virtual crowd of people screaming 'been there, done that'. I had no idea depression and anxiety were that common.

In November 2009 my brother took his own life via self immolation. I shared the news with everyone. I was shocked to hear the whispers of people who had lost loved ones to suicide or who had made attempts in the past themselves. It happens more than you know. I went to support groups to share my experience and to listen to others who felt my pain. For me, talking was the best medicine.

In September 2010 I lost my mother. The time leading up to her death was incredibly painful. I knew it was happening yet I could not bring myself to talk about it. There were a few emails to close girlfriends about my fears and perhaps an extra cocktail or two when I really didn't want to think about the reality. I was not in denial I was just tired of putting myself out there, again. Quite frankly, the pain is exhausting.

What I have learned most since December 2007 is the importance of being open and sharing. Keeping things inside, whether they are feelings or secrets, is dangerous. After my brother killed himself a friend shared that her boyfriend took his own life 20 years ago, while they were together. She did not tell her family and kept the details of his death secret from his friends. Twenty years later she's still carrying the same pain.

Not too long ago I learned that someone I love was abused in a very horrendous way. I shared the pain with my girlfriends because I needed to talk about it. I could not keep it inside. The pain was too much. And as always, the story was met with a loud roar of 'it happened to me too'. Who knew I had my own little support group of women who were abused when they were girls.

I have not found one feeling or experience that I've had that hasn't been validated by another person. And that's kinda what it's about, the validation. If I have it alone I must be insanely crazy, on the verge of losing my mind. If others have it as well, knowing there's a connection helps things hurt a little bit less.

Some have accused me of over-sharing or giving way too much information. That may be true but the more I share the better I feel, and I know that my words have felt others feel better as well.

give my kid a camera

Yesterday was Wonder Niece's graduation party. I gave Cha my camera and told her to take pics of all the fun. She's actually surprisingly good with the camera. The snapshot above may just look like the work of a five year old but I think there's a bit of artistic genius in that angle.

Following along with my post-antidepressants journey, this weekend was filled with awesomeness. I'm still not sure if it's the sun or the lack of meds that are making me feel so happy but whatever it is, I am grateful.

Friday afternoon Cha's school held a Family Fun Day party. They had a bounce castle, a musician, bubble machine, ice cream truck and a kid size buffet of yummy food. The weather was beautiful and it was sweet watching my child play with her school-family. After the party we met some friends at a local pottery store. The kids made Father's Day presents and I have to say I enjoyed the experience. You would think eight wild kids in a pottery story would make for a stressful evening, but it turned out well. We'll be heading back soon for a ladies-only pottery session.

Saturday morning Cha's Daisy Troop visited a local florist. Each Daisy planted flowers for herself, toured a garden and learned about bees. (Shout out to Risher Van Horn who offer a very nice program for scouts.) At the end of the session the girls created a large planter of flowers which was presented to a local family whose son has been serving in Afghanistan and Iraq for the last four years.

As I said the weekend was filled with awesomeness. Coming up we have Cha's kinder graduation, a field-trip filled summer, a wedding (or two), a visit with Grandpa and the cousins, and lots of swimming with family and friends. Looking forward!

Budding Bee Keepers

Congrats to Wonder Niece!

times they are a changing....

This is my buddy Jenni. I'm removing pics of Cha from the blog.

Catchup and the 20 foot Christmas tree

Back when my family lived in Santa Barbara we were far from the wealthiest house on the block. SB was filled with the über-rich and famous and I was lucky enough to make friends with a handful of them.

One day I had an after school choir practice at a classmate's house. She lived up the hills in one of the better parts of town. I remember we were rehearsing for the Christmas concert (back when we could actually call it a Christmas concert as opposed to a 'holiday' concert) and she had the tallest Christmas tree I had ever seen. The house had a two story living room and the tree went well past the top of the stairs. It was awesome.

When I got home that night I told my dad about it and he just kinda laughed. There was no way a tree that size would ever fit in our house (or in any of our houses since). I just had to enjoy that luxury of others and believe me I did.

I thought about that Christmas tree yesterday when we were over at a friend's house for a BBQ. J has one of the 20 foot tree type houses and I'm always in awe of how beautiful it is. This weekend however we snuck over to her neighbor's yard for a quick swim. Her neighbors were out of town and did give her permission to use the pool, but I felt a bit like an escaped convict sneaking thru her back yard, which is a mini forest, and dipping into the water.

The neighbor's house is very nice (tho I prefer J's) but the pool and the view are to die for! It's got a gorgeous view of Chester County without all the shopping malls, business parks and traffic jams. And since we had perfect weather yesterday you could see for miles. It was breathtaking. The pool was equally as impressive. I paused several times to remind myself to savor the moment. Cha had a fabulous day but I'm certain she didn't realize what a treat it was.

Last night we went to the Limerick fireworks with friends. We were with four families and the kids did very well together. Cha was a bit afraid of the loud booms but she watched and didn't cry. Matt, Cha and I snuggled together and watched the beautiful colors. It was the perfect way to end a perfect day.

Last weekend we went to Ocean City, Maryland with a couple of friends. It was two of my girlfriends and I with our three kids. With all the rain we've had recently I thought for sure the weekend would be a bust but we didn't see a single drop. Cha loved, loved, loved the ocean and insisted on jumping in all the waves. It scared me a bit thinking about how fearless she is. She kept asking to go deeper and deeper and I was afraid that she might feel comfortable running in there without me. I debated with myself whether it was better to keep her in the shallow water or allow her to experience the big waves. I am usually a cautious mom, especially when Matt's not around to lend a hand, but I decided that I wasn't doing her any favors by keeping her in a cage. The two of us had so much fun jumping the waves together and laughed as they knocked us to the ground. We sat on the sand and let the water splash onto our legs and up to our waists and enjoyed every minute. It was one of the year's highlights and totally worth all the time it took trying to get the sand out of our bottoms!

We are going back to Ocean City at the end of the month with another couple. They have a daughter Cha's age and they are very cute together. They were together at the fireworks last night and had fun pretend sleeping. I'm wondering if we can get away with putting the two of them in a room by themselves. That will give the adults some peace and quiet. I can't wait to get back to the beach and play with my little girl.

Three weeks ago we planted vegetables in the back yard. I thought they were doing great until I saw Andrea's garden this weekend. She started with seeds a month ago and her corn is already waist high. I've got garden-envy. I hope my little slice of dirt puts out.

: )

September Moms

These are all out of order but I guess it doesn't matter. It was an amazing weekend and worth every last mile and every last tantrum.

BBQ at Dr. Coonhead's house.

Our attempt at getting all the kids to line up together.
I have no clue how the teachers at school do it.

A very tired group of zoo go-ers

Cha, Willa and Rachel with the elephants

Cha had a giant crush on Lloyd (in the red). Wherever he was, she was there. At one point he asked her why she was always following him and she said: 'Because I like you.'
She's an honest girl

The Scorpion at the Zoo. Ick!

Dancing in the bar at the restaurant. These pics were taken by Cha

Road Trip!

Cha and I are headed out on our first solo road trip tomorrow. We're waking up bright and early and heading West.

The September Moms are getting together for a giant birthday celebration in Cincinnati. Eight moms will be meeting up at the Cincinnati Zoo followed by a fabulous cookout with BFF Dr. Coonhead. I can't tell you all how excited I am to spend time with these ladies.

Four of the moms were born the last ten days of May, ten kids who were born in September 05 and six September babe siblings. That's going to be a big crew!

I'll post pictures after the big event. There are sure to be plenty of laughter and tears.

May 24

This was my birthday weekend and I had a wonderful time. It started Friday night with drinks and Quizzo with girlfriends at Fitzwater Station. We stayed out much longer than I thought we would but we had to stay to the end of Quizzo to see how we fared. I wish I could say we won, but oh well.

Saturday Cha and I got to ride on a firetruck, complete with sirens blaring. It was a program at Limerick Fire Company. They did a fabulous demonstration for the kids (Don't Fear the Fire Gear!) and allowed all the kids to buckle up in the trucks and took them for a short ride.



Saturday afternoon we met up with Cha's BFF Kenzie for some playtime in the park. They ran and climbed and chased each other time they practically fell over.

Sunday we had a breakfast playdate with friends. It was a beautiful morning and very relaxing.

(this is the dog i am dreaming of)

Sunday night Matt grilled some fish and then we had the cake that he and Cha baked for me. It was yummy and the perfect ending to a great birthday.



For my birthday I upgraded my old phone to the Blackberry Pearl that I've been drooling over. I've been thinking about it for over a year but wanted to wait til Verizon offered me a free upgrade. I picked it up last week and was actually afraid to turn on the service. The phone is so intimidating! I'm still trying to figure it out but I love it!

Yesterday was a house day. We hung around at home, played in the sprinklers out back and did some cleaning. It was a bonus day to a great weekend.

Another Sunday

Wow, I can't believe I haven't updated since the 5th. Time is flying.

I am stressing over money and Matt's case and trying to find hope that things will get better. I have a sinus infection and not breathing very well. My allergies are killing me and the weather lately has been depressing.

I have an appt with my shrink tomorrow. I am hopeful that she'll somehow give me a jolt of happy energy.

Here are some random pictures....

kristen G made these adorable cupcakes for our egg hunt. She's so talented.

Happy 60th birthday Pa!

Seven years of therapy

It was that kind of day. I feel like I experienced seven years of growth in a 24 hour period and it didn't cost me one single co-pay.

I spent the bulk of the day either getting ready for or enjoying my time at the Philadelphia Zoo with Matt and Cha. Matt and I decided early this morning that we wanted to see the animals. Actually, we planned on going to the local zoo which is a bit smaller. When we told Cha where we were going she said she was excited to see the elephants and zebras, neither of which the local zoo has so we headed downtown.

We had a fantastic time and I caught myself getting choked up several times during the day. Watching Cha react to the animals made me flashback to the zoo trips from my childhood. I loved going to the zoo and the whole process of getting ready, packing the car and driving up to the entrance. It was such an event and seeing the animals close up was such a treat. I pray that Cha grows up and remembers today fondly. She had an unusual amount of breakdowns today and I have a feeling that she's getting another ear infection, but I'm hoping she won't remember today's tears.

On the drive home I started feeling woozy and knew that a migraine was coming on. The sun, hours of walking and the Philly traffic was a bit too much so by the time we got home my head was pounding. I managed to nip it in the bud tho with a long nap in a cold dark room. I woke up feeling spent and drugged but the pain was gone. It was late so I fed Cha dinner, gave her a bath and went to the grocery store while Matt put her to bed.

On the way to the store I called Kristen. Oh boy. Where do I begin?

Kristen and I have known each other since we were five years old and she was my first ever BFF. We were inseparable when we were kids. Our families were close and she came on many of my favorite family vacations. Most of my best memories as a young girl include Kristen and now that I have a daughter I think of her often. Sitting on Cha's floor playing Barbies with her brings me back to playing Barbies at Kristen's house. She had all the cool accessories including the Barbie airplane and cars.

My family moved away in junior high and Kristen and I lost touch. A while back she started looking for me and thanks to the beauty of MySpace, Facebook and my brother Jim, we hooked up again. We emailed a bit and arranged to speak tonight.

From the very moment she answered the phone I felt at home and comfortable. Here was someone who shared my best times and knew me well. The words flowed easily and if it weren't for two dying cell phone batteries, we could have jabbed another hour.

We spoke about good times and bad and a bit about mutual friends. At one point the conversation took an unexpected turn. We were catching up on our families and next thing you know we were talking mommy issues. (Don't stop reading Mom!) Our mothers were (and still are) very much alike and as she talked about her mother I couldn't help but give my perspective. She also gave her perspective on recollections I have of my mother. Seriously, that's a pretty big wow.

Not that either of our upbringings were war zones but My Mother/My Self didn't become a best seller for no reason. Mother and daughter relationships are complicated and I am very aware of that now that I have a daughter of my own. I can't tell you how liberating it was having someone who lived my childhood with me give me her point of view. You know how you can spend a great day at the beach (0r the zoo!), stub your toe on the way to the car and then spend the rest of the day obsessing over your toe and totally forgetting about playing in the waves? Well, imagine having someone come back 30 years later and remind you of all those little details. Amazing.

At age 41 I am proud to say that I love my mother and I love Ann, Kristen's mother. They are both great women who worked hard, had fun and raised wild children. I pray that 40 years from now Cha has a BFF that she can reminisce about her mother with. And I pray that all the little stumbles (hers and mine) are overlooked and only great memories remain.

Random Photos

(Something to help cheer me up.)

Long, exhausting day

Yay, it's Monday!

The best part about today is the fact that it's almost over. It started late last night with some marital disagreements followed by Cha getting up at 5:30 and throwing up in my bed. (At least it wasn't my side.)

There was a series of further marital disagreements, some facebook stalking by everyone's favorite crazy ex-wife, and then a calming chat with Dear CC. Oh and there was a lot of cursing and tears.

I got a note from S when I got home asking me to call his mom. Bad news on the SIL#3 front. It's breast cancer. Results were just received this afternoon and she'll have more information after her doctor appointment tomorrow.

Talking to someone who is newly diagnosed is hard. I think back to my early days and remember how much I appreciated emails from Ms. Moser, who gave me info without really giving me advice (unless I begged for it). As I spoke to SIL#3 I had to check myself and look at things as an outsider. She needs facts and options and not my feelings. I'll surely answer if asked but she doesn't need just one point of view.

I told her that one of the most difficult parts of this whole ordeal is having to make the decisions yourself. She'll get advice from every side and while the doctors will make recommendations, the decision is ultimately hers, and that can be overwhelming. I suggested she check out BCO, which was my favorite resource for info and support.

So tonight I pray for SIL#3, who has always been one of my favorites. I am also praying that my darling 3 year old will stop screaming for me and let her daddy put her to bed. We all need to sleep.

Taking back my blog and coughing up a hair ball

It's 1:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I've been trying for the past four hours but there are so many thoughts clogging up my brain that I can't rest. I lay (or is it lie) in bed and think about how I just want to get them out and purge my thoughts onto my blog. I think about how relieved I will feel coughing it all up but I've become afraid of this place.

I want to be honest and speak my mind but find myself thinking of the audience and how it will be received. I'm afraid of how this person or that will react, how feelings might be hurt and tempers might be flared. So, I've been keeping it to myself and that has been miserable. It hurts my stomach.

So, I'm going to keep reminding myself that this is my blog and let it all out. I apologize in advance if you don't like what you read.

My marriage sometimes sucks, but I think that's pretty normal. Sometimes Matt and I can barely stand to be in the same room as each other. Our eons of therapy has taught me that when people get stressed they take it out on their spouses because they are safe. If your boss pisses you off there's not much you can do, so you snap at your mate and somehow that makes you feel better. It's not the proper way to handle things but it helps me know not to take things personally. Matt is going thru a very trying time with his legal battle and it has put us both on edge. He can be a first class jerk from time to time which makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing here but I love my husband and know that neither of us are perfect. Must remember that it's only temporary and things will get better.....

Two of my girlfriends had a trying weekend. One was in the hospital and the other was ending her marriage. I worried for both of them and it pained me that there was nothing I could do to help. Part of me felt like saying....been there, done that....here's how you solve it, but I know that's just arrogance speaking. Those wonderful, strong, smart women will survive on their own. Must remember that it's not always about me!!

My family is pissing me off at the moment (and this is where it gets tricky). One thing that being a mother has taught me is that you cannot (or should not) reward bad behavior. I have learned it but struggle to always practice it. Sometimes Cha will whine about something for an hour until I finally get fed up and give in. I realize that it's bad parenting and will only encourage her to whine longer the next time but I give in anyway. She is my precious baby and it's hard to look at her and not give in to her every demand. Not to mention I have a tiny tolerance for whining. Must learn to be stronger!!

If a child, whether they are 3 and a half or 43 and a half, whines and throws a temper tantrum, rewarding them for their bad behavior will only bite you in the end. I am trying my hardest to keep my life as tame and drama-free as possible. It's difficult and sometimes I suck at it, but I keep trying. I want to see my family and have Cha spend time with her aunts, uncles and cousins. I really want her to have fun memories of my side of the family. I've got half a brain full of crazy times with the Jenkins crew. It's not as easy as it used to be tho and I've got to think about what's best for her, me and them. She might never get to know some of her family but I'm just going to have to learn to be okay with that. My job is to keep my child happy, safe and well taken care of. I do not want her exposed to unnecessary drama, especially if it's going to leave a lasting impression. I lived with the good, bad and ugly and choose to shield Cha from the bad and ugly. Must not feel guilty about that!!

Tonight I dropped Ria off at the vet. She's finally getting spayed tomorrow. I feel guilty about not having it done sooner. She goes into heat on a regular basis and the whole house feels her pain. I know a good cat mom would have made that a priority but I've had trouble balancing my priorities lately and sadly the kitties came in last. Checking this off my list will surely help clear my clogged up brain.

I've taken over two other working moms groups and it's turned out to be more difficult than I imagined. Juggling schedules, personalities, problems, concerns, and even pleasantries has my head doing somersaults. I feel like I'm failing at it and wish I could go back to the day when things were simpler.

(Note: I had to google three words in that paragraph because I wasn't sure how they were spelled. Grandma would be proud to know that I got them all right! Altho, maybe she'd be disappointed that a 41 year old wasn't sure how to spell pleasantries.)

Friday morning I have my last ever appt with Dr. S. He's doing the tattoos. I am a bit nervous about seeing him because I'm afraid he'll be disappointed in my body. I had really hoped to have lost a lot of weight and be in great shape by this point of my recovery. I feel like I'm failing him by not perfecting his artwork. I am still so depressed and altho I have been walking on the treadmill in the basement, I am really not doing as much as I know I can. I wish I felt better and could muster up the ambition to get off my ass!

Meanwhile, my body has been taken over by hives or something. My whole body is blotchy and itches like crazy. I scratch all day long. I've tried cream and allergy meds but it doesn't seem to help much. I made the mistake of taking benedryl twice during work hours. That was a bust. It just knocked me out and made me feel like a zombie for the next two days. I've got to schedule a followup appt with Dr. M to discuss my blood work so I'll talk to her about it then.

Alright, I've babbled long enough. It feels good to have gotten it all out. I'm thinking I might just turn off this machine and snuggle up to Pete and Tigger on the couch. They look so comfortable laying next to me.

I've got to get up in a few hours and take Cha to school. It's supposed to be zero, yippee!!

What a week

I'll start out with a pic of Cha at Paige's birthday party. The party was held at BounceU which was way cool.

As you can see, Cha and I both had fun. Here I am sliding down with Maya while Cha is climbing up the stairs herself. We went down together a couple of times but she preferred to do it herself. She likes to dive down head first or jump down so she bounces real high. She's fearless!

Saturday night we had a Valentine's Day Race for the Cure benefit. It was a family friendly Valentine party but we also sold raffle tickets for several gift baskets that were donated by friends and family. It was fun and we raised $300 for our team. Not too bad for a lot of last minute planning.

Some of my favorite pictures of the night.....

Here's Matt playing with birthday girl Paige. It's heartwarming how well the kids get along with the other parents. We've become a second family.

This summer the family is getting together for a little family vacation. We're planning on meeting somewhere in the middle, which is in or around St. Louis, Mo the 3rd week of July. We've got a small army and I'm having a difficult time finding someplace that has space and availability to fit us in. If anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear them!

Finally, I posted last week about the passing of 'Asa Buchanan'. I am very sad to say that the actor who played Asa's son on the show also passed away recently. Clint Ritchie was the true Clint Buchanan. (Yes, I'm a total soap opera geek.)

Catching up

I miss my blog. Things have been busy lately and whenever I think of logging in something else pops up or I fall asleep.

To 'quickly' catch up, I celebrated my mastectomy anniversary by myself. I don't think I even mentioned it to Matt. It was a bittersweet celebration - cancer free but sliced to bits. That evening I sat in my office at home and started writing out thank you letters. I took it slow and thought of every person that I am thankful for. It's a very long list. I still have many cards to send out but I don't want to rush. I want to appreciate each card and each person.

The anniversary also marked the end of the Bush era and the beginning of Obama. Times are tough right now and I pray that our new President helps to make things right.

Cha had two sleepovers with her Mimi and Pa. The first time Matt and I were blessed with the best date night ever. We dropped Cha off, went to see a movie (Benjamin Button - I wasn't blown away) then went to dinner. We sat at the bar at the Lakeside Inn and watched football. We were in no hurry at all and it was very relaxing. The next morning we slept in. It was fabulous and while I missed my little girl, I know we were both having a great time.

This weekend Cha spent the night with her grandparents again. Matt and I were scheduled to go bowling with friends but Matt got called for a DJ job at the last minute. I organized the bowling night and had to collect money, so I had to go. The night was a huge success and we all had fun. Matt also had fun at his gig, which is a bonus. Being a DJ isn't always a barrel of monkeys.

Anyway, huge thanks to Mimi, Pa, and Buddy the dog for spending time with Cha. She loves you very much (and kept calling me Mimi all day on Sunday).

We are moving Cha into a big girl bed. Her toddler bed is gone and I picked up a gorgeous four poster bed at Liberty Thrift for $20. I've been checking that place a couple times a week since Cha was born. Most of the items are 'okay' but sometimes the deals will take your breath away. I'll have to post pictures of her room when it's done. The bed is a beautiful dark wood and the rest of her furniture is light oak, so I've got to change everything. (Yay Craigslist!)

I've been connecting with dozens of old friends on Facebook. Friends from elementary school all the way up to my nanny days in DC. It's been fun catching up and seeing where everyone landed. It's sweet to think about how many friends I've had in my life.

We're building a nice number of women for our Race for the Cure team. We're working on a few cool fund raising ideas too. I'm excited. Providing Matt and I both don't lose our jobs and come into a million dollars of unexpected bills, we are going to stay in a hotel the night before the race again.

Sunday night ramblings and birthday wishes

I've got a stitch in my abdomen that's driving me bananas. Dr. S. saw it at my last appt. He said it would come out on it's own but I can't stop pulling at it. All the other stitches have come out but that one is evil.

We had a breakfast playdate today. Cha ended her most klutzy weekend ever by falling off the playground equipment face first. She cut her lip, which bled something fierce. Yesterday she fell down the basement stairs trying to carry a mop. She hit her head pretty good on the railing and bruised her arms and back pretty good. Later in the afternoon she slipped on air and fell on the hard wood floor. Not a good day to be 3. One of the moms at the playdate this morning mentioned that maybe her feet were growing and she wasn't used to them. 'Just like a newborn colt' she said. That makes sense to me. I hate the thought of my baby girl inheriting my klutz gene.

Last night Matt had a few guys over for poker. They only played til midnight or so but Matt was so wound up that he couldn't get to sleep until nearly 3:00. When I woke up this morning I found a sink full of empty beer bottles and a floor in desperate need of mopping. 'wound up' = 'drank too much'.

Tomorrow is the first day back to work after the holidays. Please God, let Cha wake up cheerful and cooperative. I really don't want to fight with a 3 year old early in the morning.

I have started weaning myself off anti-depressants. I'm doing 20 mg every other day (instead of every day). I'm on day 6 and I'm feeling icky but I don't know if that's due to the weaning.

Yesterday was my niece Dani's 4th birthday. I was thinking that she's my only blond niece. All the others are dark haired. Here are Dani and Cha several years ago at the cabin in Wisconsin. Cha was such a porker! (Pork chop Iggy!)

Happy Birthday Danielle!

Tomorrow is my niece Kimberly's birthday. She'll be the magical 19, the age where nothing interesting happens. Here we are in DC. She came out to visit me five years ago and it must have been 100 every single day. We toured Philadelphia and could barely breathe due to the heat. Ugh! Smooches to Kimi!


And finally, tomorrow is Nadia's birthday. She'll be celebrating the ultimate mom way by dropping her kids off at school and then spending the day wandering around the mall and then relaxing at home. Happy Birthday girlfriend!


Life is good.

: )

Happy New Year!

Good riddance to 2008. It had it's highs but I'm not sad to see it gone.

Last year I had planned on ringing in the new year at Andrea's house. I was hit with a case of super anxiety and just couldn't see myself surviving a house full of people. Matt, Cha and I went out for a quiet dinner with a few friends instead. This year I beat that anxiety bug and joined Andrea and a dozen screaming kids to celebrate both the end of this crappy year and the beginning of a new one.

I could list my pros and cons of the year but I think the fact that it ended on a higher note than it started says it all. I'm on a roll. As CAD says - 2009 is Mine!

I hope everyone has a happy new year!

That was awesome

What a fabulous weekend!

Dutch Wonderland!

What a cool place! We all had a blast and Cha LOVED the rides. She's a real adrenalin junkie already.

Madison, Maya and Cha high up in the air

Such Joy!