Monday, October 17, 2011

this is also motherhood

Not my proudest moment.

We had a very busy weekend. I may have overbooked our calendar to take advantage of one of the last great weather weekends of the year - pumpkin patch, flower picking, parks with twisty slides, running Lizzy at the dog park, and Cha's first ever sleepover. One thing about having an only child is that they are used to getting pretty much all the attention they can handle. Cha is blessed with two parents who are there for her always and she's used to being center stage. When there are other kids in the picture and the spotlight is shining on someone else, only children get a little sad. Or at least my only does.

Cha draws attention to herself by getting hurt, or pretending to get hurt. A slip on the playground, an imaginary twist of an ankle or a bumped head causes enormous tears and requires much attention. This weekend was filled with many bumps and falls. I saw it and played along but after the 6th or 7th time I was getting a little tired of the game.

Fast forward to the giant climbing spider web at the local park. We were with two other kids and I was trying to keep my eye on all three when Cha screamed 'Owww!' I sighed and asked her what happened, thinking that it was just one more bid for some affection. I saw her climb the web, which she's done a dozen times and didn't see what could have caused pain. She said something hurt her wrist. I told her to come down and show me and she started to cry saying her hand hurt too much to climb down. I was at my limits with her and plain tired of hearing the whining and crying for attention. I was not going to climb up the giant spider web and carry her down so I snapped at her and told her to get down now, and if she didn't stop crying we were going home.

Matt was there and when Cha didn't budge I told him to go pull her down. She held her wrist and said it hurt but didn't know why. Matt and I both looked at it and found she had been stung by a wasp. Ugh, my child was hurting and I snapped at her. Not my finest moment.

This was her first sting and we didn't know if she was allergic so we rushed her home and gave her benedryl. The sting caused her wrist and palm to completely swell and it was ugly. I put her hand on an ice pack and held her while the benedryl kicked in. I watched her breathing and checked her eyes, paranoid that something bad would happen. I've been stung twice and both times had labored breathing, dizziness, and loss of vision.

Three hours later she woke from a very deep sleep and the pain and swelling was gone. She was groggy the rest of the day but that was just the drugs.

Big hugs to my little Cha Cha Bear. Sometimes I feel like the meanest mom ever and I am so, so sorry.

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