I snuck in pictures of my breast from the second surgery to the last one. I really wish I had taken a picture after the very first surgery. My chest looked even worse than it did the second week. I like to look back on these pictures to see how far I've come.
They are here. View at your own risk, and please don't flag me for content. Technically they aren't really breast shots. It's my belly moved up to my chest.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Brangelina had a penguin
I'm having trouble sleeping and when I do manage to sleep I have the most bizarre dreams. Last night I dreamed that I was best friends with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and they asked me to announce to the world the birth of their newborn baby penguin. Very weird.
The appt with Dr. S was quick and simple today. I sent him a thank you card after Thanksgiving telling him he'd always be in my top five Thanksgiving heroes. He told me he appreciated the kind words. Then he brought out a Christmas card one of his other patients sent him. She had the same reconstruction procedure that I did and after her final surgery she had a shirt made up that said "Breasts Designed by Dr. David Singer". She's made them for a few other of his patients and they're also sending in pictures. I think I'm going to have to hunt her down and get my hands on one. I'm glad I'm not the only one who recognizes his genius!
As for the check up, things look good. I asked about the lack of feeling again and he said it could take 18 months to two years, or it might never come back. I'm okay with it but just wanted to make sure it was normal. I also asked him about the area on the side of my right breast that causes so much pain. He says it's scar tissue and if it continues to be a problem he'll go in and rip out all the bad tissue (okay, maybe he didn't say rip out, that's just the way I'm remembering it). I might take him up on it. The tattoos are scheduled for next March. If I'm still having as much trouble then I'll have him take care of it.
After my appt I had lunch with Maura, who is one of his other patients. We had a nice chat and were both celebrating having it all behind us. She had her tattoos done a few weeks ago and is very pleased with the results. I trust that I'll be just as happy with mine.
The appt with Dr. S was quick and simple today. I sent him a thank you card after Thanksgiving telling him he'd always be in my top five Thanksgiving heroes. He told me he appreciated the kind words. Then he brought out a Christmas card one of his other patients sent him. She had the same reconstruction procedure that I did and after her final surgery she had a shirt made up that said "Breasts Designed by Dr. David Singer". She's made them for a few other of his patients and they're also sending in pictures. I think I'm going to have to hunt her down and get my hands on one. I'm glad I'm not the only one who recognizes his genius!
As for the check up, things look good. I asked about the lack of feeling again and he said it could take 18 months to two years, or it might never come back. I'm okay with it but just wanted to make sure it was normal. I also asked him about the area on the side of my right breast that causes so much pain. He says it's scar tissue and if it continues to be a problem he'll go in and rip out all the bad tissue (okay, maybe he didn't say rip out, that's just the way I'm remembering it). I might take him up on it. The tattoos are scheduled for next March. If I'm still having as much trouble then I'll have him take care of it.
After my appt I had lunch with Maura, who is one of his other patients. We had a nice chat and were both celebrating having it all behind us. She had her tattoos done a few weeks ago and is very pleased with the results. I trust that I'll be just as happy with mine.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
a lady at the park
Matt and I took Cha to the park today. We took a long walk (for her) and then headed to the playground. We met another dad who had a daughter Cha's age. The other girl acknowledged Cha but didn't want to play. Her father said she's home with her mom all day and doesn't play much with other kids.
The five of us decided to walk over to another area of the park where there were more slides and swings. We chatted with the other dad on the way. He's in town visiting his in-laws for the holidays. They have a newborn and his wife needed a break so he and his daughter were out giving the woman some quiet time.
At the other side of the park another family showed up. They had been out walking with the stroller and decided to stop so their two kids could run around. As playground etiquette requires, Matt tried to make small talk with the other couple.
The woman was wearing a Race for the Cure tshirt. It said Denver 2002 so Matt asked if she regularly participates in the race. She simply said 'Yes'. Matt pointed to me and said 'My wife's a survivor.' which garnered even less of a response. The woman didn't look at me or say a word. Strange.
She and her husband were not the friendliest. They put up with our darling Cha trying to play with their kids but tried to steer them clear of her. They had a dog who was leashed and muzzled. Cha tried to pet him but the dad pulled him away from her.
I wonder about people like that. Based on their toddler gear and children's names I would imagine them to be progressive parents. Don't they realize that their kids are learning how to socialize by watching their parents? Do they know what kind of lesson they are teaching? Bah humbug to them!
Let's just hope she raised lots of money for the Cure.
The five of us decided to walk over to another area of the park where there were more slides and swings. We chatted with the other dad on the way. He's in town visiting his in-laws for the holidays. They have a newborn and his wife needed a break so he and his daughter were out giving the woman some quiet time.
At the other side of the park another family showed up. They had been out walking with the stroller and decided to stop so their two kids could run around. As playground etiquette requires, Matt tried to make small talk with the other couple.
The woman was wearing a Race for the Cure tshirt. It said Denver 2002 so Matt asked if she regularly participates in the race. She simply said 'Yes'. Matt pointed to me and said 'My wife's a survivor.' which garnered even less of a response. The woman didn't look at me or say a word. Strange.
She and her husband were not the friendliest. They put up with our darling Cha trying to play with their kids but tried to steer them clear of her. They had a dog who was leashed and muzzled. Cha tried to pet him but the dad pulled him away from her.
I wonder about people like that. Based on their toddler gear and children's names I would imagine them to be progressive parents. Don't they realize that their kids are learning how to socialize by watching their parents? Do they know what kind of lesson they are teaching? Bah humbug to them!
Let's just hope she raised lots of money for the Cure.
Dr. Appt tomorrow
I've got an appt with Dr. S tomorrow morning. It's just a post-surgical follow up. Things are healing nicely so I'm sure it will be a quick visit. I've got a few questions for him tho. I want to know when, if ever, I'll get feeling back in my stomach. Right after the surgery I had no feeling in my shoulder blades but little by little the nerves reconnected and it's all good now. But, there is no increased feeling in my abdomen at all. It feels just as dead as it was nearly a year ago. It doesn't bother me much but it's an odd sensation.
I also have these sharp pains in my breasts. They hurt a little bit every day. The pain can be so bad that sometimes I feel like they'll knock me flat on my back. I don't know what that pain is but I want to know when it will end.
The great news is that there are some areas where the incision scars are nearly completely faded. I've got to post some pictures so you can see what I'm talking about. I am hopeful that in another year they'll all be barely visable.
After the new year I am going to talk to Dr. M about coming off Lexapro. The withdrawal is bad and it's worse the longer you're on it, so I want to see if I can survive on my own. I've gone a whole week without taking any medication but the Lexapro and I look forward to the day when I don't have to take anything.
Lexapro causes weight gain and for as much as I've lost this year, and as much as my body has changed, I have been gaining. And one of the terrible things about liposuction is that you cannot gain weight in spots where it's been sucked out. So when I gain weight it shows up in weird places which makes wearing clothes uncomfortable.
While I'm on the topic of clothes I want to share a bit of my frustration with the clothing industry. Buying clothes is a nightmare and it's impossible to shop based on sizing alone. I have a dozen pair of pants sized 14 to 24 and they all fit. I tried on one pair of pants in a store and they were super big. I tried on the next size down and I could barely get them on. How does that happen?
Bras are even worse. I hate trying them on in the store because I have fears of people popping in the dressing room and seeing my sliced up body. So, I buy bras and try them on when I get home. I have been measured and told that I am a 42C. Not a full C but certainly not a B. But, if I go into a store and buy a hand full of bras sized 42C chances are that half of them will not fit. I bought a 44C last week and when I brought it home it barely fit around me. I'm wearing a 42C right now that seems to be a too big and not supportive.
I've taken to wearing padded bras, something I have never done. The 'turkey poppers' that Dr. S promised that he wouldn't give me are there. They show thru my shirts and I am very self conscious about them. Padded bras cover them up. They were worse two weeks ago so I know they'll look more natural in time but for now I am terribly embarrassed bythem. Maybe I'd feel different if I didn't work in a predominantly male environment.
Anyway...that's the update for now. I'm sure Dr. S will shed some light on a few things tomorrow so I'll post what he says. The next and final step is tattooing some color on those turkey poppers. It's a simple five minute procedure but I have no idea when we'll do it.
I also have these sharp pains in my breasts. They hurt a little bit every day. The pain can be so bad that sometimes I feel like they'll knock me flat on my back. I don't know what that pain is but I want to know when it will end.
The great news is that there are some areas where the incision scars are nearly completely faded. I've got to post some pictures so you can see what I'm talking about. I am hopeful that in another year they'll all be barely visable.
After the new year I am going to talk to Dr. M about coming off Lexapro. The withdrawal is bad and it's worse the longer you're on it, so I want to see if I can survive on my own. I've gone a whole week without taking any medication but the Lexapro and I look forward to the day when I don't have to take anything.
Lexapro causes weight gain and for as much as I've lost this year, and as much as my body has changed, I have been gaining. And one of the terrible things about liposuction is that you cannot gain weight in spots where it's been sucked out. So when I gain weight it shows up in weird places which makes wearing clothes uncomfortable.
While I'm on the topic of clothes I want to share a bit of my frustration with the clothing industry. Buying clothes is a nightmare and it's impossible to shop based on sizing alone. I have a dozen pair of pants sized 14 to 24 and they all fit. I tried on one pair of pants in a store and they were super big. I tried on the next size down and I could barely get them on. How does that happen?
Bras are even worse. I hate trying them on in the store because I have fears of people popping in the dressing room and seeing my sliced up body. So, I buy bras and try them on when I get home. I have been measured and told that I am a 42C. Not a full C but certainly not a B. But, if I go into a store and buy a hand full of bras sized 42C chances are that half of them will not fit. I bought a 44C last week and when I brought it home it barely fit around me. I'm wearing a 42C right now that seems to be a too big and not supportive.
I've taken to wearing padded bras, something I have never done. The 'turkey poppers' that Dr. S promised that he wouldn't give me are there. They show thru my shirts and I am very self conscious about them. Padded bras cover them up. They were worse two weeks ago so I know they'll look more natural in time but for now I am terribly embarrassed bythem. Maybe I'd feel different if I didn't work in a predominantly male environment.
Anyway...that's the update for now. I'm sure Dr. S will shed some light on a few things tomorrow so I'll post what he says. The next and final step is tattooing some color on those turkey poppers. It's a simple five minute procedure but I have no idea when we'll do it.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas!
Another magical Christmas in the Jenkins-Crocker household. This year has been extra special since my spirits are up and Cha is understanding things more. We had dinner at Uncle Mike's last night and spent today at home opening and playing with presents. Mimi and Pa stopped by for a few and dropped off gifts. It was a wonderful day. I wish more days were like this.
Christmas Eve at Uncle Mike and Aunt Naomi's. Cha had fun running around with the boys.
I think she had a bit of a crush on Trever, who said he couldn't play with her because he was 6 and had a mustache.
Pop Pop, Naomi's brother Lenny, and Uncle Mike
Her new dog and Tigger playing with her new racetrack
This is why I was re-decorating the tree every single day.
Here's Tig enjoying Cha's new racetrack. Nothing really happens other than the kitty catching the cars. If you're not a cat fanatic you won't fully enjoy it. To me it's as peaceful as one of those indoor water fountains. I can watch it for hours.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Can you stand a few more pictures?
I am so excited about Christmas this year. Everything about it makes me smile and I can't stop singing Christmas carols. Only three more days!
Tonight I finished hanging Christmas cards. Charlotte helped and then she, Matt, the kitties and I had a little photo session. Please ignore the sad state of the walls. They are in dire need of paint. It's on the never ending honey-do list. That's what you get for buying a fixer-upper.
Showing off our cards:
Matt and Cha and The Family Guy:
Okay this is weird. I've lost count of the times friends have commented on how Cha and I are dressed alike. I promise you it's not intended and I never really know I'm doing it unless someone points it out. I just noticed that she and I are dressed alike again here. She's in her daycare clothes and I had just changed into my comfy clothes. At least this time we aren't wearing exactly the same color, which happens quite often. Anyway, here we are with Tig and Ria.
Tonight I finished hanging Christmas cards. Charlotte helped and then she, Matt, the kitties and I had a little photo session. Please ignore the sad state of the walls. They are in dire need of paint. It's on the never ending honey-do list. That's what you get for buying a fixer-upper.
Showing off our cards:
Matt and Cha and The Family Guy:
Okay this is weird. I've lost count of the times friends have commented on how Cha and I are dressed alike. I promise you it's not intended and I never really know I'm doing it unless someone points it out. I just noticed that she and I are dressed alike again here. She's in her daycare clothes and I had just changed into my comfy clothes. At least this time we aren't wearing exactly the same color, which happens quite often. Anyway, here we are with Tig and Ria.
The What Ifs
I've been playing the What If game for at least 30 years. What if we move to a new school and the kids hate me? What if I color my hair and it all falls out? What if I take this job and they fire me a week later?
One thing I've learned is that it's never as bad as I imagine it to be, even when it is really, really bad. A year ago I was shaking in fear over my upcoming mammogram. I was crying days beforehand, knowing that it wasn't going to be good news. I was right, it wasn't good news but it wasn't nearly as bad as I feared. Sure, it was bad but I survived.
When I first came home from the hospital after my surgery I could barely take the stairs. I wasn't sleeping well and had to take pain pills and antibiotics several times a night. I remember standing in the bathroom on the first floor emptying my drains and taking my meds thinking how lucky I was that we moved into this house. It set me off on a course of backward what-if thinking to see where it all started.
If we didn't move into the townhouse in June '07 we wouldn't have a 1st floor bathroom that would serve as my midnight refuge. We also wouldn't have a spare bedroom for my mother, my niece and Tobi to stay in while they visited.
If we didn't move in June '07 I am pretty certain that we wouldn't have moved at all. My condo sold super quick, which gave us a nice down payment for the townhouse. If I waited another year the market would have crashed and we would have been stuck with the condo, or had been forced to sell it at a reduce price. And who knows if I would have ever been able to qualify for a mortgage this year. I got the mortgage on my own and as we all know, banks are much more strict these days. I'm betting they wouldn't have been too kind to me.
If I didn't meet Kelly, a new member of the mom's group who just happened to be a realtor, I never would have thought of selling at that point.
If I never started the mom's group, I never would have met Kelly, and the many, many other wonderful women who helped me out during my recovery. I can't imagine having to deal with the cancer and recovery without a fantastic circle of friends.
If the local Mom's Clubs didn't diss me, saying their membership was restricted to stay at home moms, I never would have started my own mom's club for working mothers.
If I never had my darling daughter, I never would have needed a mom's club.
If Matt and I had broken up for the fifth time and actually stayed broken up, I never would have had my beautiful little girl who I was able to breastfeed.
If I failed to answer Matt's odd response to my personal ad way back in June 2001 I never would have met him.
And, if my first husband and I didn't separate in 2000 I wouldn't have been on the dating scene. (Just as Matt wouldn't be on the prowl if he and his first wife didn't separate in 2001.)
So, something as depressing as a divorce kicked off a string of events that brought all these wonderful people into my life. And it allowed me to be exactly where I needed to be when cancer found me, in the 1st floor bathroom draining fluids from my body.
Interesting. Let's see what fun the cancer recovery brings.
One thing I've learned is that it's never as bad as I imagine it to be, even when it is really, really bad. A year ago I was shaking in fear over my upcoming mammogram. I was crying days beforehand, knowing that it wasn't going to be good news. I was right, it wasn't good news but it wasn't nearly as bad as I feared. Sure, it was bad but I survived.
When I first came home from the hospital after my surgery I could barely take the stairs. I wasn't sleeping well and had to take pain pills and antibiotics several times a night. I remember standing in the bathroom on the first floor emptying my drains and taking my meds thinking how lucky I was that we moved into this house. It set me off on a course of backward what-if thinking to see where it all started.
If we didn't move into the townhouse in June '07 we wouldn't have a 1st floor bathroom that would serve as my midnight refuge. We also wouldn't have a spare bedroom for my mother, my niece and Tobi to stay in while they visited.
If we didn't move in June '07 I am pretty certain that we wouldn't have moved at all. My condo sold super quick, which gave us a nice down payment for the townhouse. If I waited another year the market would have crashed and we would have been stuck with the condo, or had been forced to sell it at a reduce price. And who knows if I would have ever been able to qualify for a mortgage this year. I got the mortgage on my own and as we all know, banks are much more strict these days. I'm betting they wouldn't have been too kind to me.
If I didn't meet Kelly, a new member of the mom's group who just happened to be a realtor, I never would have thought of selling at that point.
If I never started the mom's group, I never would have met Kelly, and the many, many other wonderful women who helped me out during my recovery. I can't imagine having to deal with the cancer and recovery without a fantastic circle of friends.
If the local Mom's Clubs didn't diss me, saying their membership was restricted to stay at home moms, I never would have started my own mom's club for working mothers.
If I never had my darling daughter, I never would have needed a mom's club.
If Matt and I had broken up for the fifth time and actually stayed broken up, I never would have had my beautiful little girl who I was able to breastfeed.
If I failed to answer Matt's odd response to my personal ad way back in June 2001 I never would have met him.
And, if my first husband and I didn't separate in 2000 I wouldn't have been on the dating scene. (Just as Matt wouldn't be on the prowl if he and his first wife didn't separate in 2001.)
So, something as depressing as a divorce kicked off a string of events that brought all these wonderful people into my life. And it allowed me to be exactly where I needed to be when cancer found me, in the 1st floor bathroom draining fluids from my body.
Interesting. Let's see what fun the cancer recovery brings.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Update on an early bedtime
As I mentioned last night, Matt was wonderful and told me to go to bed early. The plan was to check email, post some pics and blog then turn off the lights. I got all the way to the lights being out and five minutes of shut eye when Cha came storming in the room. Matt had the audacity to suggest bedtime and Cha ran to me to complain. (She likes to tell on us and send us to time out. Three year olds are challenging.)
I got out of bed and started a bath to help her mellow. Unfortunately, this had the opposite effect. She danced and sang in the tub and then proceeded to run around the second floor naked and wet. She was totally wired and it had nothing to do with food or drink.
We managed to calm her down a bit and get her dressed but she still wasn't ready to sleep. It ended with me staying up with her until after midnight. She would lay down in bed and close her eyes but I think she's got a touch of my insomnia. She really tried to sleep but it just wasn't happening. So, my early bedtime turned into another late night. Oh well.
I got out of bed and started a bath to help her mellow. Unfortunately, this had the opposite effect. She danced and sang in the tub and then proceeded to run around the second floor naked and wet. She was totally wired and it had nothing to do with food or drink.
We managed to calm her down a bit and get her dressed but she still wasn't ready to sleep. It ended with me staying up with her until after midnight. She would lay down in bed and close her eyes but I think she's got a touch of my insomnia. She really tried to sleep but it just wasn't happening. So, my early bedtime turned into another late night. Oh well.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Two Days of Holiday Cheer
It's been a busy couple of days. Yesterday we had our holiday luncheon at work, followed by happy hour at a local bar. Since my fantastic company isn't keen on celebrating or even recognizing Christmas we held a Happy Release Party to celebrate a recent product release.
CAD hosted our second annual Chinese Auction (I think that's what it's called?) where everyone brings a gift and draws a number. The lowest number gets to select a gift and the following person can either steal that gift or unwrap another. Watching a room full of developers juiced up on beer and bickering over dollar store crap was more fun than I've had all year (as seen in the oh so flattering picture below).
There was a great turnout for happy hour and I got to spend time with some old friends. I don't think I say nearly enough how much my co-workers mean to me. There's something magical about that bunch.
Here's the disco ball on the food table. We had more food than we could eat and being I am trying to watch my sugar intake it was hard to pass up all those cakes and cookies (but I did!) I had some super yummy but very spicy Indian food instead. I think I've got a crush on samosas.
Under normal circumstances I would rip this picture to shreds and destroy all digital copies I could get my hands on. However, this is probably the happiest I've been all year and that laugh felt good. The chuckles resulted from trying to toss a Starbucks giftcard across the room and somehow getting it stuck in the ceiling. What are the odds?
The scene of the crime. Nothing says fancy like a sparsely decorated training room.
And a room full of peeps in varying stages of sobriety fighting over the following gifts. Please note, when a gift goes out of it's way to say Pick Me, just move along.
Happy Hour at the Park Ridge hotel. This is CAD, Bossman and I lifting a glass for Derek, who was virtually celebrating in California.
After yesterday's festivities I thought I was all holiday-d out, but I was gifted with an hour at Cha's holiday party at school. Santa, Christmas, and all the traditional holiday songs were embraced. It felt odd for the school to so openly wish everyone a Merry Christmas given the diversity of the students.
Here's Cha and Daddy enjoying some tasty treats. I was good and concentrated on the popcorn and pretzels but boy did those cookies look tempting.
After Cha's party we stopped at Max and Erma's for dinner and some nice family time. Matt and I are both exhausted from a very long week. When we got home tonight he told me I could head up to bed and he'd put Cha to sleep. I stayed downstairs for an hour or so to clean the kitchen and get things put away. As I was cleaning up the dining room I found this sweet scene:
I thought how wonderful it was that the kitties love the tree so much. Two minutes later I walked upstairs and hopped into bed, where I'm currently sitting with all four cats snuggled up beside me. How is it that they know where I'm headed even before I get there? Wherever I am in the house they have to be in the same area watching me. It's comforting but I little spooky sometimes.
Anyway, it's been a great couple of days and we have more fun planned for this weekend. Tomorrow the local library is having a reading of a ballerina book and the kids are encouraged to dress up. So, Cha will be putting on her favorite dance clothes and playing with friends. Afterwards we'll be celebrating Cait's 3rd birthday. We're praying for snow on Sunday so we can get out and do a little sledding.
Happy Friday everyone. It feels great to be upbeat for a change.
CAD hosted our second annual Chinese Auction (I think that's what it's called?) where everyone brings a gift and draws a number. The lowest number gets to select a gift and the following person can either steal that gift or unwrap another. Watching a room full of developers juiced up on beer and bickering over dollar store crap was more fun than I've had all year (as seen in the oh so flattering picture below).
There was a great turnout for happy hour and I got to spend time with some old friends. I don't think I say nearly enough how much my co-workers mean to me. There's something magical about that bunch.
Here's the disco ball on the food table. We had more food than we could eat and being I am trying to watch my sugar intake it was hard to pass up all those cakes and cookies (but I did!) I had some super yummy but very spicy Indian food instead. I think I've got a crush on samosas.
Under normal circumstances I would rip this picture to shreds and destroy all digital copies I could get my hands on. However, this is probably the happiest I've been all year and that laugh felt good. The chuckles resulted from trying to toss a Starbucks giftcard across the room and somehow getting it stuck in the ceiling. What are the odds?
The scene of the crime. Nothing says fancy like a sparsely decorated training room.
And a room full of peeps in varying stages of sobriety fighting over the following gifts. Please note, when a gift goes out of it's way to say Pick Me, just move along.
Happy Hour at the Park Ridge hotel. This is CAD, Bossman and I lifting a glass for Derek, who was virtually celebrating in California.
After yesterday's festivities I thought I was all holiday-d out, but I was gifted with an hour at Cha's holiday party at school. Santa, Christmas, and all the traditional holiday songs were embraced. It felt odd for the school to so openly wish everyone a Merry Christmas given the diversity of the students.
Here's Cha and Daddy enjoying some tasty treats. I was good and concentrated on the popcorn and pretzels but boy did those cookies look tempting.
After Cha's party we stopped at Max and Erma's for dinner and some nice family time. Matt and I are both exhausted from a very long week. When we got home tonight he told me I could head up to bed and he'd put Cha to sleep. I stayed downstairs for an hour or so to clean the kitchen and get things put away. As I was cleaning up the dining room I found this sweet scene:
I thought how wonderful it was that the kitties love the tree so much. Two minutes later I walked upstairs and hopped into bed, where I'm currently sitting with all four cats snuggled up beside me. How is it that they know where I'm headed even before I get there? Wherever I am in the house they have to be in the same area watching me. It's comforting but I little spooky sometimes.
Anyway, it's been a great couple of days and we have more fun planned for this weekend. Tomorrow the local library is having a reading of a ballerina book and the kids are encouraged to dress up. So, Cha will be putting on her favorite dance clothes and playing with friends. Afterwards we'll be celebrating Cait's 3rd birthday. We're praying for snow on Sunday so we can get out and do a little sledding.
Happy Friday everyone. It feels great to be upbeat for a change.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Good News / Bad News
The good news is that I'm getting feeling back in my chest and abdomen.
The bad news is that Holy Crap! I'm getting feeling back in my chest and abdomen!! Yee-ouch!
My nipples hurt all.the.time. They are red and swollen and feel hot. I don't think it's due to an infection, more so from friction of my bras and camisoles. They are an oopy, goopy mess and even tho I lather them up with Neosporin and cover them with non-stick bandages, they still stick. When I twist or turn the friction irritates the wounds so they are slow to heal.
I trimmed down the stitches yesterday. There are dozens of them and they were getting stuck on my bra. So if I reached for something and a stitch was stuck in my bra it would pull, which causes the most intense pain. Several times it brought tears to my eyes. I'm not used to having feeling in my chest and it's kind of a bummer that the first sensation I have is agonizing.
The incisions in my groin are still painful as well. They run right along the panty line and you can imagine the constant friction from walking, standing, crossing your legs or even just sitting. The incisions opened up in a couple spots too. Per Dr. S. I've been putting Neosporin on them as well but I think if they don't start looking better I'm going to go in and have him take a look.
So the good news is that my body is healing, but the bad news is that it's still pretty ticked at me.
On an unrelated note, Matt had a good news / bad news day of his own today. Things are moving in the right direction finally, but at a very slow pace. On the way home from work today I was overcome with excitement over the thought of Cha meeting her big brother for the first time. That's a picture I simply cannot wait to share!
The bad news is that Holy Crap! I'm getting feeling back in my chest and abdomen!! Yee-ouch!
My nipples hurt all.the.time. They are red and swollen and feel hot. I don't think it's due to an infection, more so from friction of my bras and camisoles. They are an oopy, goopy mess and even tho I lather them up with Neosporin and cover them with non-stick bandages, they still stick. When I twist or turn the friction irritates the wounds so they are slow to heal.
I trimmed down the stitches yesterday. There are dozens of them and they were getting stuck on my bra. So if I reached for something and a stitch was stuck in my bra it would pull, which causes the most intense pain. Several times it brought tears to my eyes. I'm not used to having feeling in my chest and it's kind of a bummer that the first sensation I have is agonizing.
The incisions in my groin are still painful as well. They run right along the panty line and you can imagine the constant friction from walking, standing, crossing your legs or even just sitting. The incisions opened up in a couple spots too. Per Dr. S. I've been putting Neosporin on them as well but I think if they don't start looking better I'm going to go in and have him take a look.
So the good news is that my body is healing, but the bad news is that it's still pretty ticked at me.
On an unrelated note, Matt had a good news / bad news day of his own today. Things are moving in the right direction finally, but at a very slow pace. On the way home from work today I was overcome with excitement over the thought of Cha meeting her big brother for the first time. That's a picture I simply cannot wait to share!
Monday, December 1, 2008
work was good
I was gung ho first thing in the morning. I was chipper and peppy and all those other happy adjectives containing double 'p's.
Then about 11:00 I hit the wall. My body started to ache something fierce. My stomach, my chest, even my ankles, they were all in pain. By 11:30 I was exhausted. It hurt to stand up and walk to the printer and I had no energy to do it anyway.
I did manage to finish the day and accomplished quite a bit. I longed to come home, jump into some comfortable clothes and pop a pain pill. Instead I picked up Cha and sat in traffic for an hour while the Pennsylvania drivers practiced driving in the rain for the 10th year in a row. Then I got home, realized that I had to refill my prescription so I threw on some sweats and headed to the pharmacy. Cha wouldn't let me leave the house without her so I bundled her up, dragged her out and chased her around the store before coming back home and hearing her complain that she didn't want the pasta that daddy made her, she wanted hot dogs. Three hot dogs. She announced that she needed a bath and screamed when Matt said he would give her one. She only wanted me and clung to me like a wart. We walked upstairs and I was finally able to take a pain pill but I had yet to sit down and relax. I started Cha's bath, paid a few bills, made a few phone calls, and then tried to zone out Cha screaming in her room while Matt put her to bed. An hour later the three of us were crabby and no one was sleeping. I walked downstairs to finally get myself something to eat (yum, leftover turkey again!). Matt and Cha fought on the second floor and I sat down with the kitties and ate. Here it is 11:20 and the house if finally quiet and I've got to pull the energy together to drag myself upstairs to bed. Altho, I've grown used to sleeping on the couch. The kitties have already warmed up a spot for me.
Tomorrow I've got to bring a bottle of Advil to work so I can enjoy the peace and quiet of the office.
Then about 11:00 I hit the wall. My body started to ache something fierce. My stomach, my chest, even my ankles, they were all in pain. By 11:30 I was exhausted. It hurt to stand up and walk to the printer and I had no energy to do it anyway.
I did manage to finish the day and accomplished quite a bit. I longed to come home, jump into some comfortable clothes and pop a pain pill. Instead I picked up Cha and sat in traffic for an hour while the Pennsylvania drivers practiced driving in the rain for the 10th year in a row. Then I got home, realized that I had to refill my prescription so I threw on some sweats and headed to the pharmacy. Cha wouldn't let me leave the house without her so I bundled her up, dragged her out and chased her around the store before coming back home and hearing her complain that she didn't want the pasta that daddy made her, she wanted hot dogs. Three hot dogs. She announced that she needed a bath and screamed when Matt said he would give her one. She only wanted me and clung to me like a wart. We walked upstairs and I was finally able to take a pain pill but I had yet to sit down and relax. I started Cha's bath, paid a few bills, made a few phone calls, and then tried to zone out Cha screaming in her room while Matt put her to bed. An hour later the three of us were crabby and no one was sleeping. I walked downstairs to finally get myself something to eat (yum, leftover turkey again!). Matt and Cha fought on the second floor and I sat down with the kitties and ate. Here it is 11:20 and the house if finally quiet and I've got to pull the energy together to drag myself upstairs to bed. Altho, I've grown used to sleeping on the couch. The kitties have already warmed up a spot for me.
Tomorrow I've got to bring a bottle of Advil to work so I can enjoy the peace and quiet of the office.
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