Ask Forgiveness / Accept Forgiveness
I started 2013 off by sending an email to an old friend. We hadn't talked in years and I knew it was due to something I had said and ways I had acted. It was nothing criminal or morally corrupt, just sheer bad manners and being an awful friend.
I think about her when I'm doing dishes. It makes no sense, as there was nothing about our friendship or breakup that had anything to do with dishes. But when I get my soapy hands on a dish I start to think about her and where it all went wrong.
I emailed her once years back and it bounced. In 2013 I decided to cyber-stalk her. I found her professional page and sent her a note. I apologized, stated my wrongdoings, took complete responsibility and begged for forgiveness. Then I never heard from her. But it's okay. I knew that it was never about reconnecting with her or picking up where we left off. It was important to me that I acknowledged the hurt I had caused and said that I was sorry.
Today I got a note from another old friend.
"I am deeply sorry for how things went down years ago and wanted to apologize"
That brought me peace. More than she knows.
Now while I am scrubbing a greasy pan I can think about peace.