Thursday, May 26, 2016

Six months

I read something from a fellow stage 4 sister that echos my own thoughts.

Do I feel crappy for a healthy person, or amazing for a cancer patient?

Personally I am so tired of feeling crappy. I've had the same aches, pains, and complaints for the past six months and I can't say that any of them have gone away. Some of the symptoms have lessened due to chemo and radiation, but my body isn't as strong as it once was and those symptoms hit me harder than before.

I've lost 40 pounds in the last year and a half. Thirty of those within the last 8 months. Great, huh? I was a little excited when I started shedding those pounds and putting on clothes that hadn't fit in years. But most of those 40 pounds have been muscle. My poor little legs look scrawny and very, very old. My skin is hanging off me and looks like crepe paper. Not at all pretty.

I had an appointment with another oncologist this week for a second opinion. She is from a well respected medical facility, and came very highly recommended.  I feel so defeated thinking that I've given my all during the last six months and it's all been for nothing. Going into the appointment I had a list in my mind of things that I was and was not willing to do. Knowing this facility's reputation, I was expecting to pick and choose what treatments I wanted to try next. Imagine my disappointment when I heard that they had nothing new to offer, that my current team was doing exactly what needed to be done, and that was that.

My cancer continues to grow. That's the terrifying thing about being stage 4. The cancer never, ever gives up. Patients and doctors just need to keep plugging along, trying to stay two steps ahead of it. I've tried chemotherapy and hormonal therapy and both failed me. Now we just bounce between different chemicals trying to find one that works the best.

And those flight of stairs that used to knock the wind out of me six months ago? They are still just as challenging, only I am weaker and very, very tired.

1 comment:

  1. WHAT A GREAT MIRACLE THAT I HAVE EVER SEE IN MY LIFE. My names are Clara David I’m a citizen of USA, My younger sister was sicking of breast cancer and her name is Sandra David I and my family have taking her to all kind of hospital in USA still yet no good result. I decided to search for cancer cure so that was how I found a lady called Peter Lizzy. She was testifying  to the world about the goodness of a herbal man who has the roots and herbs to cure all kinds of disease and the herbal man's email was there. So I decided to contact the herbal man @herbalist_sakura for my younger sister's help to cure her breast cancer. I contacted him and told him my problem he told me that I should not worry that my sister cancer will be cure, he told me that there is a medicine that he is going to give me that I will cook it and give it to my sister to drink for one week, so I ask how can I receive the cure that I am in USA, he told me That I will pay for the delivery service. The courier service can transport it to me so he told me the amount I will pay, so my dad paid for the delivery fee. two days later I receive the cure from the courier service so I used it as the herbal man instructed me to, before the week complete my sister cancer was healed and it was like a dream to me not knowing that it was physical I and my family were very happy about the miracle of Doctor so my dad wanted to pay him 5 million us dollars the herbal man did not accept the offer from my dad, but I don't know why he didn't accept the offer, he only say that I should tell the world about him and his miracle he perform so am now here to tell the world about him if you or your relative is having any kind of disease that you can't get from the hospital please contact dr.sakuraspellalter@gmail.com or whats app him +2348110114739  you can follow him up on Instagram @herbalist_sakura for the cure, he will help you out with the problem. And if you need more information about the doctor you can mail me davidclara223@gmail.com 

    ReplyDelete