Seven years of therapy

It was that kind of day. I feel like I experienced seven years of growth in a 24 hour period and it didn't cost me one single co-pay.

I spent the bulk of the day either getting ready for or enjoying my time at the Philadelphia Zoo with Matt and Cha. Matt and I decided early this morning that we wanted to see the animals. Actually, we planned on going to the local zoo which is a bit smaller. When we told Cha where we were going she said she was excited to see the elephants and zebras, neither of which the local zoo has so we headed downtown.

We had a fantastic time and I caught myself getting choked up several times during the day. Watching Cha react to the animals made me flashback to the zoo trips from my childhood. I loved going to the zoo and the whole process of getting ready, packing the car and driving up to the entrance. It was such an event and seeing the animals close up was such a treat. I pray that Cha grows up and remembers today fondly. She had an unusual amount of breakdowns today and I have a feeling that she's getting another ear infection, but I'm hoping she won't remember today's tears.

On the drive home I started feeling woozy and knew that a migraine was coming on. The sun, hours of walking and the Philly traffic was a bit too much so by the time we got home my head was pounding. I managed to nip it in the bud tho with a long nap in a cold dark room. I woke up feeling spent and drugged but the pain was gone. It was late so I fed Cha dinner, gave her a bath and went to the grocery store while Matt put her to bed.

On the way to the store I called Kristen. Oh boy. Where do I begin?

Kristen and I have known each other since we were five years old and she was my first ever BFF. We were inseparable when we were kids. Our families were close and she came on many of my favorite family vacations. Most of my best memories as a young girl include Kristen and now that I have a daughter I think of her often. Sitting on Cha's floor playing Barbies with her brings me back to playing Barbies at Kristen's house. She had all the cool accessories including the Barbie airplane and cars.

My family moved away in junior high and Kristen and I lost touch. A while back she started looking for me and thanks to the beauty of MySpace, Facebook and my brother Jim, we hooked up again. We emailed a bit and arranged to speak tonight.

From the very moment she answered the phone I felt at home and comfortable. Here was someone who shared my best times and knew me well. The words flowed easily and if it weren't for two dying cell phone batteries, we could have jabbed another hour.

We spoke about good times and bad and a bit about mutual friends. At one point the conversation took an unexpected turn. We were catching up on our families and next thing you know we were talking mommy issues. (Don't stop reading Mom!) Our mothers were (and still are) very much alike and as she talked about her mother I couldn't help but give my perspective. She also gave her perspective on recollections I have of my mother. Seriously, that's a pretty big wow.

Not that either of our upbringings were war zones but My Mother/My Self didn't become a best seller for no reason. Mother and daughter relationships are complicated and I am very aware of that now that I have a daughter of my own. I can't tell you how liberating it was having someone who lived my childhood with me give me her point of view. You know how you can spend a great day at the beach (0r the zoo!), stub your toe on the way to the car and then spend the rest of the day obsessing over your toe and totally forgetting about playing in the waves? Well, imagine having someone come back 30 years later and remind you of all those little details. Amazing.

At age 41 I am proud to say that I love my mother and I love Ann, Kristen's mother. They are both great women who worked hard, had fun and raised wild children. I pray that 40 years from now Cha has a BFF that she can reminisce about her mother with. And I pray that all the little stumbles (hers and mine) are overlooked and only great memories remain.