Dr. Appt tomorrow

I've got an appt with Dr. S tomorrow morning. It's just a post-surgical follow up. Things are healing nicely so I'm sure it will be a quick visit. I've got a few questions for him tho. I want to know when, if ever, I'll get feeling back in my stomach. Right after the surgery I had no feeling in my shoulder blades but little by little the nerves reconnected and it's all good now. But, there is no increased feeling in my abdomen at all. It feels just as dead as it was nearly a year ago. It doesn't bother me much but it's an odd sensation.

I also have these sharp pains in my breasts. They hurt a little bit every day. The pain can be so bad that sometimes I feel like they'll knock me flat on my back. I don't know what that pain is but I want to know when it will end.

The great news is that there are some areas where the incision scars are nearly completely faded. I've got to post some pictures so you can see what I'm talking about. I am hopeful that in another year they'll all be barely visable.

After the new year I am going to talk to Dr. M about coming off Lexapro. The withdrawal is bad and it's worse the longer you're on it, so I want to see if I can survive on my own. I've gone a whole week without taking any medication but the Lexapro and I look forward to the day when I don't have to take anything.

Lexapro causes weight gain and for as much as I've lost this year, and as much as my body has changed, I have been gaining. And one of the terrible things about liposuction is that you cannot gain weight in spots where it's been sucked out. So when I gain weight it shows up in weird places which makes wearing clothes uncomfortable.

While I'm on the topic of clothes I want to share a bit of my frustration with the clothing industry. Buying clothes is a nightmare and it's impossible to shop based on sizing alone. I have a dozen pair of pants sized 14 to 24 and they all fit. I tried on one pair of pants in a store and they were super big. I tried on the next size down and I could barely get them on. How does that happen?

Bras are even worse. I hate trying them on in the store because I have fears of people popping in the dressing room and seeing my sliced up body. So, I buy bras and try them on when I get home. I have been measured and told that I am a 42C. Not a full C but certainly not a B. But, if I go into a store and buy a hand full of bras sized 42C chances are that half of them will not fit. I bought a 44C last week and when I brought it home it barely fit around me. I'm wearing a 42C right now that seems to be a too big and not supportive.

I've taken to wearing padded bras, something I have never done. The 'turkey poppers' that Dr. S promised that he wouldn't give me are there. They show thru my shirts and I am very self conscious about them. Padded bras cover them up. They were worse two weeks ago so I know they'll look more natural in time but for now I am terribly embarrassed bythem. Maybe I'd feel different if I didn't work in a predominantly male environment.

Anyway...that's the update for now. I'm sure Dr. S will shed some light on a few things tomorrow so I'll post what he says. The next and final step is tattooing some color on those turkey poppers. It's a simple five minute procedure but I have no idea when we'll do it.