Sunday, February 3, 2008

She soothes my soul

I am home. The doctor gave me the all clear around noon but they wanted to get a bit more antibiotics into my system before I walked out the door. They inserted a PICC line in my arm last Monday after five of my veins bailed in a few hour period. It made it easy to give me a/b and draw blood but it kept me in the hospital three extra hours as I had to wait for someone to come remove it.

Cha and Matt came to pick me up and we were all excited to see each other. It was just the three of us at home tonight and it was wonderful relaxing and laughing with each other. When it came time for bed Matt had a very hard time putting her down. She just didn't want to go but was obviously super exhausted.

After 20 minutes of screaming in her room I walked upstairs and climbed over her baby gate. I knew that she wanted me to sleep on the floor next to her but I explained that I was too sick but I would sit on her glider and sing to her while she slept. The second I sat down she climbed up on my lap and laid her head on my chest. She let out a very loud sigh and her body relaxed in my arms.

I told her that I loved her and that I missed her when I was gone. I said I hoped I would never have to leave her again but I was home now and could hold her all night. She looked up and said 'I love you Mommy'.

We rocked for nearly an hour and at first I sang to her but then just held on and rocked. Her bottom was on my thighs and altho her head was directly on my breasts it wasn't too uncomfortable. She certainly didn't do any permanent damage. With every body twitch and visible sigh I knew this was what it was all about. She is why I've got to get my body back together and keep myself healthy for the next 40 years. If ever I feel like giving up again I'll have to remind myself of the rocker and how my little girl is blessed with magic healing powers.

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